Gratitude is one of the most powerful states of mind we can hold. When we tune into being thankful for all the things we do have, we naturally attract in more of those things. (Ok… Check!)
All too often, we default to being overly critical of ourselves and that makes us feel bad about our lack of progress or shortcomings. (Yikes, you must know me…)
So, what can we do to turn this around and what needs to be addressed first? To name a few, feelings of guilt, shame, anger or resentment.
Ok, what’s next? I like where we’re headed…
If we can be honest with the feelings that we’ve been focusing on and giving our precious energy to, then we can shift out of them.
That can be represented on a piece of paper as “Point A.” An example of that could be, “Feeling guilty about missing the gym and not having the body that we want or maybe we couldn’t stop eating those unhealthy items that are always staring at us from the candy or soda isle.
Then we come up with the desired feeling or future outcome as “Point B.”
Oh yea baby, take me through this awesome little exercise…
The big key to this transition is to normalize this gap. For example, we can accept the fact that we’re not where we want to be, but are ok with the fact that we’re in a transitional process.
As we do that, we can redirect our attention on the feelings of successfully arriving and being in the “Point B” as if it has already happened or is happening in that moment.
It’s the old adage of “Acting As If” or “Believing as so…”
Once we do this and become better with consistency, our body and subconscious mind will present us with new events and situations that support our “Point B.”
PRO TIP TO KNOW: Our mind (Reticular Activating System, to be exact) searches our environment and outside world to reaffirm our thoughts, beliefs and feelings. (So, be mindful of the thoughts we’re giving energy to. We can rule our world or sink our ship with this little “LIFE HACK” in our head.
Ok, check. Now bring it home for me Corey!
The final element to this is Gratitude transformation is in our success with the physical actions we do to reinforce our Point B scenario (or new habits of thinking).
So, getting clarity on all the things we’re grateful for is super important to do daily!
But be aware of this little caveat here: Just thinking and visualizing without physical actions to reinforce our thoughts (dreams and goals) will leave us at a standstill or slowly creeping towards out dream lives…
However, when we start to take consistent actions towards what we want, we’ll arrive there faster and more importantly… we’ll build the muscle memory of thinking clearly and taking actions on the right things!
So, what can I do now to feel like the Dalai Lama looks?
Take stock! Make a list of all the things you already have and have ALREADY ACCOMPLISHED.
Review that list daily. Put the list in your purse or wallet. Put it on your bathroom mirror. In your car (or monster truck).
Be grateful that you’ve managed to make progress in the past and keep your mind on the sunny side of life… even if it feels fake. Eventually, your actions will reaffirm all the right stuff inside of you and legitimize those lofty “Point B” places, accomplishments and feelings!
Hey… while we’re on the subject… READ MY BOOK ON GRATITUDE!
The best way I’ve found to get results is not by making resolutions, but by creating solid habits that promote long-term goal success. (Uhhh, sounds like work) But wait, it’s not all that complicated or challenging. (Mmm, ok, I’m listening…)
Corey, give me a few examples while you have my undivided attention
If you want to get better at running your business or to make more money in your business, start the habit of time management or the habit of becoming a student of a mentor.
If you want to become a best selling author, start the habit of writing everyday and get a Coach who has already done what you want.
If you want to be more aware and WOKE, start the habit of meditating throughout the day or go to yoga every Mon, Wed & Fri.
What’s this habit stuff you speak of…?
Oh, snap… they’re just things you do on autopilot without needing to give them much thought. For example, like lifting the seat when you pee (Not… 😉
I’ll be the first to tell you that creating the right habits isn’t always easy because we have so many bad habits that have already set up shop in the prime real estate spots in our mind.
So, because creating bad habits is normally easy and creating good ones seems to be a challenge, I’ve put together a short guide on how to build good habits that can change your life for the better.
Step 1 to setting your new year’s resolution or goal!
First off, pick a positive habit that would yield the results you’re looking for. Think of habits as actions and thoughts that you gravitate towards by default.
Find those things that are easy and rewarding. Make them simple so you can stick to them when you don’t really feel like doing them. For example: an easy habit is to drive to the gym every morning before work. A complex one is to go to the gym and work out.
The first habit is easier and will lead to the more complex one naturally, so start simple. Also worth mentioning is that most of the time we focus on quitting bad habits or on stopping actions. Instead of quitting junk food, shift your energy towards eating more veggies and drinking more water.
More support on that first one please…
Think about the positives and the things that you can add before you start trimming everything undesirable out of your life.
Here’s the logic!
The more good things you do, the better your mood will be. Soon, you’ll be in a positive place where the negative (bad) things (habits) will no longer fit in or feel as good to do.
Here are a few examples of positive habits worth implementing:
Meditating more, journaling, practicing gratitude, driving to the gym (or yoga studio ;), eating more veggies, telling people how much you care for them and even asking for support when you need it (from the right people of course).
A quick story that supports my case
I went out to eat the other night with a friend and instead of having a bacon burger with cheese and fries, I ate a Cobb Salad with avocado, cucumbers and big leafy greens added in it.
Just a little shift that led to more desirable circumstances for me like, a better looking body, better digestion, better sleep, more vibrant skin and actually a cleaner type of energy to burn. Better concentration and much more great stuff…
We Do Well With Baby Steps.
Most of us tend to make these HUGE lists that are full of all these new changes that we NEED to make, but end up discouraged or overwhelmed. We also tend to think that we need to achieve them all at once or by next week, but the reality is that things take time and that’s ok.
All the more reason to make sure we choose the right things to change in our lives.
Focusing on one habit at a time will prevent that overloaded feeling that can put us into paralysis and inaction. A word of caution if you’re anything like I am… The more you try and change at the same time, the less you are likely to maintain over the long haul. If you were to ask a habit-guru, they would confirm this! (Habit gurus? I need you now)
So boil this down for me…
Any step in the right direction is a win, even if its small.
When I started meditating, I set an hour-long goal. This was absurd! A first time meditator will rarely have the discipline to complete 5 mins much less an hour.
Here’s the bad part about unrealistic goal setting…! When we set overly audacious and unrealistic goals, we fail. That can lead to us feeling badly about ourselves and associating everything with the negative experience. And what do we do as humans when we feel pain?
Yes, that’s correct, we tend to run away from it.
So, what did I do to WIN?
I set my new action goal for meditating to just TWO-MINUTES. Guess what, once I got done with the 2 mins, I went longer just because I was in the swing of it and it felt good.
I ended up doing that 2 mins a day for a whole year and most of the days, I went up to 30 mins! (Holla!)
Another time, I went on an 8 month non-workout… stay inside all day and work on my business quasi-losing streak…
and I wanted to get back in shape. So, instead of jumping back into a ridiculously challenging yoga class or a brutal be sore for 2 weeks weight lifting regimine, I started out with the commitment of a one mile walk per day with my dog. Soon, I was in the yoga class doing handstands, warrior poses and arm balance poses!
I finally understand the importance of starting small and staying consistent. The go big or go home thing can come as we get consistency under our belts first!
Any more inspiring examples?
Oh, heck yea! When I was all “juiced up” on eating healthier, I started with adding a salad before every meal. After a month or so, my meal preps went from ⅓ veggies up to ½.
What about the challenges or downfalls I experienced?
Not setting reminders or calendar entries for ALL things I was committed to. For the longest time my calendar was filled with all business-related stuff. This caused me to overlook my other commitments and important events.
So now, my meals and exercise sessions are now blocked out in time chunks and now they get just as much attention as my other “important” business things do.
Ok, this blog is getting long, anything else that needs included in this article?
Yes, two little ones.
The first is to get support with accountability. Either findsomeone line a coach or a close friend that can help you. I always tend to perform better when I know someone is watching me and helping me raise the bar.
If you need help with accountability, reach out to someone on CoachRanking!
The second is to stay consistent! The more consistent we tend to be, the better. There will always be resistance which typically come in the form of excuses and overwhelm, but pushing through them will bring a sense of daily accomplishment for you.
Something useful to try
Make a chart of your wins each week! Write down your wins every week so you can see your progress. A solid visual picture of our successes is a very powerful tool for us to build momentum.